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IDENTIFYING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS


toxic, dirty, gas mask, paper suit, rubber gloves

toxic:

"containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing ... serious debilitation...poison...causing unpleasant feelings, harmful or malicious"

~Merriam Webster Dictionary

I'm at that age, and I'm just that personality: You make me question who I am, or what my intentions are/were; you make me feel like shit with your backhanded or sideways "compliments" or passive-aggressive (or simply "aggressive") comments about the choices I make, and you're out. The wall will go up, and you will not be privy to the happenings of MY life any longer. You may not even know it has happened, it happens so fucking fast. I trust my gut. I don't ask you what you meant. When I FEEL it in my gut that your intentions with your words is to hurt or make me question myself; I'm right; you're wrong. There's no time to talk about it; you don't deserve my time and attention.

Asking others what they mean? IT'S A TRAP! ITSATRAP!!! Manipulative, negative, TOXIC people will always twist things to make YOU feel like YOU did something wrong; YOU construed something incorrectly; YOU suck at life and they're the good, smart, beautiful people.

When it comes to fitness/physique goals, I often see or hear the following comments from [they will have you believe] well-intentioned individuals:

  • I don't have time to workout like you do

  • Squats [or, insert badass lift] are bad for your knees [or, insert body part]!

  • What are you trying to accomplish?

While the above comments/inquiries are not - IN AND OF THEMSELVES - "toxic", if they often come from the same person and are uttered multiple times over the course of time, and they MAKE YOU QUESTION THEIR INTENTIONS AND MAKE YOU FEEL GENERALLY SHITTY ABOUT YOUR CHOICES...are they not "causing serious debilitation"????

Perhaps it's your mom or your kids uttering these things. What then? You can't really cut them out of your life; you likely do not want to. What you CAN do is limit their access to your awesomeness. What if it's your significant other? Well, sad to say, they're an asshole and you shouldn't be with them in the first place.

It's called TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF. It's about thinking highly of yourself. It's about self-respect, self-preservation and YOUR self-esteem. If the people you surround yourself with aren't being respectful of your life choices; the LEAST you can do is respect yourself. Distance yourself from the poison that is dressed so sweetly in a Dress Barn sweater or Lee dad jeans; or from the "friends" who always make you question what they REALLY mean. For the love of all that is good and right: distance yourself; put up boundaries or - if necessary - a big fucking wall. You have the right to feel good about yourself! You are STRONG enough to stand up for what you value, what you enjoy, and what you believe.

Even if it means standing alone.

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